To say that the first half of 2020 has been emotionally and mentally draining would be an understatement. I started this month walking 2.23 miles in honor and remembrance of Ahmad Arbery, who was killed while running in a neighborhood. I ended the month in a cycle of tears, anger, fear, and sadness after more senseless murders. Triggered by videos of violence and racist comments against the protests and people who decided to use their voice.
While this month has felt heavy, there have been bursts of hope and moments of joy. I’ve been touched the people who have used their voices for good. Those who have decided to speak out take action against the history of oppression of Black people. Thank you so much to everyone who has reached out to check in on me and those who have identified themselves as anti-racist and allies during this time. Please continue to listen, to learn, to open yourself up to a different perspective. Please continue to use your voice, take action, protest, support, and donate. This is much bigger than this week or this month.
Here are my other reflections for the month of May:
One
One of the things that have truly brought me joy this month has been tending to my new plant babies! I mentioned in my May Bucket List post that my mom inspired me to test out my green thumb. In the span of a month, I have gone from having 0 plants to having 11! I honestly didn’t think that it would positively impact my life this much. Every morning I wake up and head over to my (new) plant shelf to check for growth. I talk to them, I rotate pots when necessary, I beam with pride when I notice a new leaf. In my free time, I research plant care and watch Youtube videos of other plant enthusiasts (my favorites right now are Crazy Plant Guy (Christian) and Harli G!). Every other day the thought “I should buy a new plant” crosses my mind. I’ve honestly turned into a crazy plant lady and I’m not even a little embarrassed by it.
Two
Every weekend this month, I chose a morning/day to step back from my tv screen. Throughout quarantine, I kind of fell into this habit of binge-watching my weekends away. This bucket list item was my way of breaking that cycle. I still woke up at my normal weekend time (I shoot for 7 am, but that can drift to 9 at the latest) but instead of turning on the tv, I would spend time reading, working out, and tackling organization projects (it’s been a big month for home projects too!). By the end of the month, I was cutting out social media time as well. My weekends felt like they returned to the perfect blend of productivity and relaxation, which was exactly what I wanted!
Three
Yall…I cut my hair. Like actually chopped off every last piece of relaxed, chemically processed hair. I never thought that I would go through with “the big chop.” I was almost offended when anyone would suggest it, maintaining that my plan was to slowly transition. I’m working on a blog post that articulates why this is such a huge step in my natural hair journey (check out this video for some context), but for now, I will simply say that it feels freeing.
This month I completed 4 out of 5 of the items on my May Bucket List. My paint by numbers set came in a little later than anticipated, but I plan to paint it during June!